Thursday, June 29, 2006

angry + bitter


Today morning, i woke up feelings so mundane and numb. After brushing my teeth, I went searching for old t-shirts in my brother's closet. Finally i found one and started cutting it into strips and tearing it violently with a scissors like a mad mad woman. Psycho i am, i took a cold shower (never happens on normal days because i hate cold water baths) and came out shivering like i desperately need cocaine. Got dress and zooom to college. Poor Jian Jin. She must be thinking how horrible and unkind am i because i was supposed to help her with her perspective assignment instead i did so badly in tutoring + bitter face because of my damn condition or whatever you call it. In class, i tried my best to be humourous and smile but the moment i stop laughing, i'm back to being acrimonious. I was so lost after class so i bought Cosmopolitan mag and sat at the college main block for an hour reading it while waiting for my next class at 2.30 pm. Felt better after that but still no sign of happiness. I was a dead penguin in the next class too. I'll go hahahaha then felt awfully bitter. After class, went down to SAR department to collect my result transcript but it wasn't ready yet. And to Su Ann, your lame stunt wasn't funny AT ALL but it was rude and offended me. Wrong time to joke around cos i ain't in the mood today and felt like banging your petite head to the counter top over and over again. (no offence) I'm angry with the bloody librarian because he only allow me to borrow the book for 3 fucking days! GOSH! Finally, reached home and headed to the shower to scrubbed myself hard with my pink buffer. My skin was pink when i came out. Then i lie flat on the bed thinking of.... nothing. Now, i'm here jotting down my day by banging the buttons on keyboard.

Dare to be Naive

Sometimes i wish i have more courage to face whatever problems that is thrown in front of me. i fail to do so at times and run timidly. i run and hide like a scared child at war. i was raised to hide feelings aside and be strong no matter what. You can say i am independant but i doubt so at times. There are moments when i am vulnerable and need guidance from someone.

Some thinks i am strong. Some thinks i can endure the pain. Some thinks i can solve the problem myself. Others think that i don't really need someone to lean on.

Given impression like this by people is not what i have planned. Maybe i just project certain kind of "courage" to people because of the way i speak or behave.

Maya Angelou once said,

"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest."

i do hope that one day, i dare to be naive.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

"Building is a verb"

Yesterday seminar on Troppo Architects at the University Malaya was fascinating. I really enjoyed the seminar. I'm amazed with not only their sustainable architecture design but their principles, philosophy & concept. Geoff Clark was the speaker from Troppo Townsville and you can say he's very sensitive towards the surroundings and thinks beyond the line.

Troppo are committed to environmentally sustainable, responsible architecture and promotes Sense of Place through architecture. The architecture must respond to the climate and the local setting; a dynamic architecture of adjustable skins; that connects the indoors with the out (or should it be the outdoors with the in?) : a non-constant architecture that responds to the morning, the evening, the season, the heat, the cold, the sun & the rain. They believe building should be fun, friendly and forever adaptable.

"Building is a verb, too: we enjoy thinking bout the (human) process of building
developing building programs that incorporate local materials and trade-skills,
artist and community resources: an event
that might add to a community’s social and cultural fabric."

Troppo hires 99 % graduates and people wear very casual attire to work. No formal attire like ties, leather shoes, instead they are advised to work bare footed.

For more information, visit

Below are some pictures of their buildings. Simple you might say but when i'm loaded in the future, i'll get them to design my ESD dream house someday.

House in Queensland

Rozak House

Lavarack Army Barracks

Friday, June 16, 2006

I just came back from college! Finally!! I get to relax for a day after a hectic week! Been sleeping for 3 hours a day since last week. Though my assignments are still not done yet but I need to rest! My backache is aching and it seems like it's getting worst. H.E.L.P

this is how i look with no good sleep but work & work & work ...

^3 a.m, reading Consumer Behaviour


Mood: perky

Reading: Life of Pi (again) & The Grammar of Architecture

Eating: Peanut butter and drinking Vitagen

Wearing: Baby-T & miniskirt

Make up: Chanel foundation and lipstick

Smell like: Nina Ricci + The One Academy + Pall Mall

Gonna bath then watch One Tree Hill. I just wanna have some fun this weekend but don't think i'm getting it till semester break. yikes!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

birdies and kitten's chest

Everybody's favourite topic of discussion - too big? too small? real? fake? saggy? perky? Especially to the boys. Me? Mine's small but i never had any comment on it because i didn't care what size i was until i have a boyfriend. Men do like to bring women down. They drag you out from your comfort zone with an AK47 and push you around till you trip and fall causing you to bleed. Blood all over your face and then they say.."it's ok... i still love you the way you are".

We women do have expectations too but men can fulfil those requirements so the delicate soul in us ignores the "prince charming" notion or the "6 inches 7 inches" yada yada and move on. Well some move on but some dying to find the "perfect" one. By the way, giving an oral job to a 6 inches ++ jack in the box gives me sore throat and vomiting is not a very attractive thing to do when he's around.
So what you all want honestly? I'm referring to both sex.

Plum girls with huge lumps? (western)
Skinny ones with huge lumps? (western)
I wonder does plum men have a huge dick?
They said men with a big toe = big knick knacks
Collin Farrel?
Takeshi Kaneshiro?
Johnny Depp?
Calvin Klien underwear model sure does have Big ones.
Chad Michael Murray?

And my mind goes on and on and on......

You decide for yourself.

I'm so tired with my work. I've been working all week with no good rest. Went to see the doctor just now regarding my terrible backache. He stocked me up with pain killers. "This is for day and night. This is for night only. This is for this pain and that pain. This is to relieve your muscles. This is for you to rub on your back."

excuse me for i need to get on with my consumer behaviour research. yikes! it's 2 pm already?!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Yesterday my old lil' Ford is sick so it was sent to the mechanic. So that means i took the train and the bus to college. It does feel good not to drive in a way despite the hot weather and the waiting for train and the unpleasant smell you get from......the public? After class, had lunch with Kelvin (Jonz) at 1.45 pm and then headed to the library to do some reading on architecture and then slept for some time while waiting for Kelv class to finish at 5 pm. Then later on, we went to get McD ice cream before we walk to the bus station because the weather was so hot! (Oo!! Ooh!! We ate a pine of Baskin Robbins's ice cream on 31 May for lunch! Yummm...I wished i had money to eat the 1 gallon size that day.) Baby Bunny Kelv, was so sweet to accompany me to sit train all the way back to klang just like old times.'s been so long since we spent time together like that. We used to do it last time when we first dated.
So stressed up with my work now. That's why i thought of getting some rest by blogging a little. So many presentations and project research to do. =( Hope i do well this term.