I sat here for almost an hour in front of my desk doing nothing but surfing the web. It's a waste of time but I am doing and still doing it. This is my 3rd cup of hot green tea that I've made to warm myself up but doesn't seem to help to loosen up my cold stiff fingers. I skipped gym because I don't think I have the will to walk to the gym in this crispy cold air.
I haven't given up on writing my blog. I just have nothing interesting to write about. Like now. Eventful events are just eventful events. After a day, the moment has passed and it's just an ordinary week after that. I enjoyed myself, gone tipsy and sometimes crazy but I have absolutely no enthutiasm to describe my ultimately happy times. "Ultimately happy times" sounds like a sentence to describe great sex huh? Hah!
I don't even know why I decided to write today. I blame my the green tea that is filling up my blader and my cold fingers, causing me to lose focus on writing my dissertation and drift to my wonderful-interesting-awesome blog.
After my tutorial session today, I sat in the studio thinking about my next move/plan for next year after I graduate. Phedon and Conan was around the table talking and I was listening and participated in their conversation but a there's a little part of my mind that's processing the thought that I was telling about. Job in Manchester, job in London, job in a small company, job in a large company, England or the US, will i be sad working in Malaysia, etc. To be honest, I don't want to go back to Malaysia because I would like to be a way from everyone & everything that's familiar back at home. And then f course one bloody idiot will ask, WHY?. See.. I don't know! I really don't. I just don't want to. There might be many reasons in my cluttered mind but for now, I don't know.
See, it's such a bummer to even spill out these thoughts of mine. I don't want to brood or cry or sulk for the next few days. It's meaningless and will never end. This is exactly why I seldom write. I'm such a melancholic person inside, I have no cheerful words or positive post to blog.