On a cold cold Sunday

I have to focus on my work. I've been procrastinating for too long! My dissertation, my final design project and my other professional design work AND my portfolio!! So much work to do and I'm wasting time watching drama series and snacking. As I my dissertation, after each paragraph, I take a bite of Milka chocolates which I know I will pay for it later on at the gym. This has to stop. Maybe this is another way on channeling my stress you think?

Oh! And just half an hour ago, I purchased 2 used books from AbeBooks which is considered a splurge because I have no time to read or will not read until I graduate or should be reading design/architecture books. I subscribed to 1 year subscription of Wallpaper magazine; I have Lorraine Farrelly's The Fundamentals of Architecture in my Amazon cart; I have 2 new Frame magazines lying on my carpet; I'm not done reading What Your Teacher Didn't Tell You by Farish Noor; the plastic seal on The Complete Maus illustration book given by my brother is still intact. I thought the 30 minutes bus ride to work from Salford to Bury would allow me to read a book but since last 2 weeks ago, Fu is able to pick me up from the city meaning I walk to the city now to meet him and no riding the bus anymore. I barely take the university bus so there. I think I should start purchasing audio books which I don't really like because my hearing is bad (for my age) and I prefer to own a physical copy of the book.

I've been drinking too much homemade "Irish" coffee and it needs to stop because it's an addiction and not a good one. I drink it in the mornings, afternoons and nights and this addiction is not going anywhere good when you start to sneak around and secretly make Irish coffee in the common kitchen and hoping your flat mates don't walk in to you pouring Baileys into your coffee cup. I think I have to go to Aldi and buy a bottle of Baileys to refill into the current bottle so it doesn't get suspicious.

I have to shower and complete my brief for my major design project and prepare myself for tomorrow's tutorial with Trevor.

Have a good day!

People.

Dig down

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After holding up for more than a week, I finally broke down on my knees and cried for 2 days straight. I guessed the more you hold it in the more you let out afterwards. I barely left my room for 3 days and of course this concerns my Polish flatmate. Later then she gave me a few task to do just so I would get out of the apartment. So I did except for eating half a bar of chocolate because I'm having a bad cold and sorethroat.

1. do laundry

2. clean my room

3. grocery shopping for milk, eggs, Nutella & jam

4. head to work at 4.30pm.

I ate so much of prawns and spring rolls in the kitchen at work. Now I have pancakes as comfort food that Barbara made to cheer me up after work. It's 2am (Manchester time) and my calorie intake is not an issue at the moment.

Later (Saturday 10am) I'm going on a Manchester Underground tour with Barbara and Devora. It's going to be an even more wet, humid and cold air through the spooky tunnel. Hope it doesn't smell bad. Pretty excited about it!

You won't know and will never know

Two cards, two impossible future.
People always say it comes and goes.
Mine comes and goes and comes back again.
And goes again?

The brain juice is flowing

I'm relieved that my lecturer liked my proposed ideas for my FINAL design project because this is my last assignment in my University years to design something without concerning about the project budget, drawing details and on-going site problems but actually focus on the design concept itself. I'm very excited about my ideas! Visiting Melbourne last Christmas really helped me a lot in designing my very own brief. Cross fingers to my outcomes for this project.

I'm so reluctant to work in Kuala Lumpur... again, because you rarely able to find someone out there who appreciates the concept behind a proposed interior design except for the company Paul & Pris where I did my summer internship in 2010 back in Klang, Malaysia. Most companies and clients just want it to look beautiful or look designer-ish which is not what I want to do in my working life.

Oh England, I forgive your weather. Just give me a job opportunity so I can start a life here.

I dislike

Reformatting my computer.

Restoring the system for someone else's laptop (Barbara's laptop).

But I manage to succeed in both tasks.

Finally I've finished this book and I really like it.

My 2010 Chirstmas present. Thank you Bro.

Where do you start?

I have no fancy words or mighty Christian vocabulary for this blog post. I pen down what's exactly in my head now.

Where do you go to seek your faith? It's good to know that being a Christian is more than just attending church, reading the Bible and getting involve in church/youth activities. It's actually living the Christian life itself. I have many Christian friends who bullshits to me. Looking all holy and thinking they have a strong faith and all that. In the end, they are no different from me. At least I don't live in denial and I know I'm not fit yet to practice the religion but I'm taking baby steps. It's so hard for me because I have no motivation or the will or maybe I'm just lazy. I skip church services, I gossip, I steal sometimes, I prejudice certain races, I have sex, I smoke stuff I shouldn't be smoking, I lie, I have dirty thoughts and much more. I need cleansing treatments. I need to get out from my world.

Just few weeks ago I discovered my Jesus-loving-I-love-and-care-for-the-whole-world is an anti-Semite. So it doesn't matter what you do or portray yourself to be but it's all about the inner thoughts and true feelings you've got deep down. This then brought me to question my inner thoughts and this is how I know that I'm not ready. I think it's better to admit your sins and (maybe) continue the sins, but denying it, is worse isn't it? Because if He's real, there's no way you can lie to Him. Another thing is to know is to love and if you don't know so many things

about the religion itself, how one can one love? The worst is to think you know it all but the truth is you don't. I don't know if what I'm typing makes sense.

But I want to be ready someday. I really want to.

When the 'someday' comes, I want to walk in this shoes with these stockings.