Friday, August 31, 2007

Never knew...

Never knew it would be this hard to be apart from you. I always thought i could handle it easily without much going through my head but i guessed i'm very wrong this time. Few months back i honestly never really bother bout this matter until last 3 weeks when i realized i only have 22 days to be with him. I cannot imagine what would my days be without him being near me. I know i had given him a hard time for the past few months with my lil' missy attitude. Thanks for having the patience. I still have 5 more days to spend with him before he lives to UK and i have to confess that i'm not dealing with it very well. Many can tell. There's so much going through my head that i had to pour out somewhere and that's how i chose to spill it here. I try putting myself together and think rationally. I know i'll get used to his absence after a few weeks and i know he'llbe back in a year but i hate going through the process of sending my love ones to another continent. The last i sent Shaleeni to airport, i cried like someone died. It's horrible. I don't think i'll have the strength to send him to the airport on Wednesday. I hope he understands that it's not easy for me. I'd not send my brother to the airport either for the last 7 times he came back so you can imagine how "goo eeeyy" and emo i actually can get. I've been keeping myself busy with work during the day so my mind stays focus and eventually i'll forget the "sad" situation i'm going through but the devil is evil so there's no escape during the nights. I feel that my eyes are getting smaller each day and i'm simply too lazy to put effort to make it look a lil bigger unless it's necessary. My mind is clouded with pessimistic thoughts of us till i somehow wanna break up but then he convinced me to stay together. Many told me that it's impossible, it's difficult and definately will break up. It's the truth for most cases out there. I know it myself. I know it is dificult that's why i'm afraid to walk that path. Chicken shit. But a good friend told me to try because there's no harm to it. I don't know where we will end up doing this long relationship. I don't know how difficult it would be. I seriously don't know. But if something were to go wrong, at least we've tried, at least i know i've tried better than just giving up at this point. Right? Wrong? Oh, i don't know. I'm know i'm taking the risk in trying to work it out.

Will it work?

That's the answer i'm anticipating for. Goodnight.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

I don't know what's the title.

I had a dream last night that i was ice skating in Sunway Pyramid. It's funny because i don't know how to ice skate in real world. I don't like dreaming much because the fact that it takes up my resting time, annoys me. I try not to drink coffees in the morning too often because i didn't want to get immune to it.
Today, I like what i wore for work. It's so me...=) I love my shirt very much. It's simple and sleek. Cost me (my mom actually) a bomb. I will never pay 180 for a shirt but this is different. Ooo! I bought new shades for myself too. It was impulsive buying but thank goodness i didn't regret... No no, i didn't regret at all! Thank goodness Shi Jin was there with me to help to decide if not i'll be so fickle minded till i can't made up my mind and end up with not buying any.

Watched The Simpsons last week. It was good for me. But when it comes to this dysfunctional family cartoon, it's either you love it or hate it. My mom dislike it but as for me, i've watched it since young thanks to my brother again so OF COURSE it was fucking hillarious.

1. I can't get the Spiderpig song out of my head!!
2. The part Homer quoted about the pig can do an impression of Marge.
3. AND when Bard gets strangle by Homer each time he laughs at Homer.
No matter how ridiculous the movie's ridiculously funny. Bravoooo!!

I wanna eat myself or bite my fingers out each time i look at theeeseeee........