Never knew...

Never knew it would be this hard to be apart from you. I always thought i could handle it easily without much going through my head but i guessed i'm very wrong this time. Few months back i honestly never really bother bout this matter until last 3 weeks when i realized i only have 22 days to be with him. I cannot imagine what would my days be without him being near me. I know i had given him a hard time for the past few months with my lil' missy attitude. Thanks for having the patience. I still have 5 more days to spend with him before he lives to UK and i have to confess that i'm not dealing with it very well. Many can tell. There's so much going through my head that i had to pour out somewhere and that's how i chose to spill it here. I try putting myself together and think rationally. I know i'll get used to his absence after a few weeks and i know he'llbe back in a year but i hate going through the process of sending my love ones to another continent. The last i sent Shaleeni to airport, i cried like someone died. It's horrible. I don't think i'll have the strength to send him to the airport on Wednesday. I hope he understands that it's not easy for me. I'd not send my brother to the airport either for the last 7 times he came back so you can imagine how "goo eeeyy" and emo i actually can get. I've been keeping myself busy with work during the day so my mind stays focus and eventually i'll forget the "sad" situation i'm going through but the devil is evil so there's no escape during the nights. I feel that my eyes are getting smaller each day and i'm simply too lazy to put effort to make it look a lil bigger unless it's necessary. My mind is clouded with pessimistic thoughts of us till i somehow wanna break up but then he convinced me to stay together. Many told me that it's impossible, it's difficult and definately will break up. It's the truth for most cases out there. I know it myself. I know it is dificult that's why i'm afraid to walk that path. Chicken shit. But a good friend told me to try because there's no harm to it. I don't know where we will end up doing this long relationship. I don't know how difficult it would be. I seriously don't know. But if something were to go wrong, at least we've tried, at least i know i've tried better than just giving up at this point. Right? Wrong? Oh, i don't know. I'm know i'm taking the risk in trying to work it out.

Will it work?



That's the answer i'm anticipating for. Goodnight.