Reality hurts. Honestly i have been feeling this way for the past 2 weeks. But i'm holding on. Trying to deal with all the horrible truths/bad news that's been pouring on me. Stop smacking negative facts on my face! My moods are constantly changing from feeling pissed to happy to frustrated to moody to fine to... confused and sad now. Stupid hormones of mine! Received a phone call last night that shocked the hell of me and your words made me rethinking about my life and how things could be slightly better or different if i were to do this and that and this and thaaaaatttt.... Gosh! This thinking process ate up my sleeping time and i woke up feeling crappy and looking like a zombie. I regretted for not going to Melbourne or UK to further study. I regretted for not being firm with my thoughts and decisions. I regretted being someone i can't be. I regretted for lying to myself and others. I regretted for not being a better friend. SIGH..so many things la. I regretted putting on a facade just to please others till people take me for granted. I really really really regretted so many things la...=( Yeah yeah.. people say don't look back but i want to. It might help hopefully.

I bet all of you don't have a clue about what i'm saying. Basically, i'm trying to say that... My life's a fairy tale and i intend to keep it that way forever because i don't have to deal with problems. Yes! So what if i don't grow... i didn't have things to be sad and worry about when i was a child. I get a sucker punch without a warning each time i step out of my comfort zone and into reality. Pain le... =(

I day dream alot now while working. I picture words like
"Cancer"
"Playground legend"
"Cheater"
"Tuberculosis"
"Liar"
"Girlfriend-beater"

very often in my fucking head and it bothers me too damn much. Maybe i'm too tired. Maybe i should sleep now... Maybe.

I was suppose to post this 2 days ago but blogger is another nuisance.