delirium trigger

i failed for my stage mock this week... he said i think too much/too hardworking till my idea is blurring out.
in his class, either you fail or pass.
there's NO such thing as passing with flying colours because he won't let you. he'll snatch away your colours. he will break your wings so you can't fly...
well of course if students do get at B+ or A-... *hands down*
i hold my tears in class. eugene girl was crying continuously... the sentence, "eugene, you got a major problem so you FAILED" is a very pain in the ass sentence to receive from Tommy. it's like death sentence. he's so famous in failing people. the fear is there each time he gives you an assignment.
i tell you... after critic, i'm sorta deaf. i only can hear my lil voice. i'm so restless, panicking, mental confusion, wasn't clear with what i'm thinking. my brain just process so fast that i couldn't catch up with the speed. DELIRIUM state.
shi jin accompany me to eat ice cream after that. i tried so hard not think. but when i got into the car. BANG! my tears kept flowing down. my eyeliner's melting. i don't wanna see Tommy next term.

Thank you Shi Jin and Thyana. Thyana, sigh... I just hate being the weak ones. Design is so subjective.

i'll work on my design. you want idea strength. i give you that. you want me to take risk and not think so much. FINE. friday will come and i'll shock you with my stage. you'll see. i'll make sure final model is perfect and when i on the switch... you blink blink in the black box and pass me.




hopefully...