Paradox
It starts to get dark at 4.30pm. Sigh. I'm so unhappy today. My thoughts are all over. Sometimes i wonder i should follow the heart or to do what's right. If i do what is right, i'll be in pain. If i follow my my heart, i'll cause pain. Either way it will never be a good ending. Over here in Salford, i have more time to focus and think carefully about what i want, what i need to do, where i wanna go & who i wanna be. I wanna be ordinary. A less complex person. An interior designer who loves her job and travel around for vacation. No big dreams. No big cash. No fancy life. Just ordinary. Sometimes i lose my answers.
I don't have class today. But i was up at 7am - lying in bed for 2 hours staring at the ceiling. Flashing back everything that i've been through for the past 2 years. It's not easy to let go of mommy. I still think about her most of the time. When i'm here, i think about her more often. I haven't move on. Maybe i don't want to. Thought about my relationship - where is it going? I'll like to hold your hand and walk with you but i can't.
I'm tired of being a melancholic person. I really am.
I have tutorial session tomorrow and i really like my design. Hopefully i score for this. Gonna get back to my drawings.
Found a way to keep in touch with Cantonese language. TVB drama series. The plot is always the same. But it's a way to improve my language. Haven't been speaking much Cantonese since i got here. Dah la my Cantonese sucks and i speak like ang moh. Now standard drop. Jeffrey, Hendrie and Eric sure will tease at me when i come home.
"yat lou cho yeh, yat lou dai hei".
*Has always been a habit since young. That's how i score straight A's for SPM & PMR.*
I don't have class today. But i was up at 7am - lying in bed for 2 hours staring at the ceiling. Flashing back everything that i've been through for the past 2 years. It's not easy to let go of mommy. I still think about her most of the time. When i'm here, i think about her more often. I haven't move on. Maybe i don't want to. Thought about my relationship - where is it going? I'll like to hold your hand and walk with you but i can't.
I'm tired of being a melancholic person. I really am.
I have tutorial session tomorrow and i really like my design. Hopefully i score for this. Gonna get back to my drawings.
Found a way to keep in touch with Cantonese language. TVB drama series. The plot is always the same. But it's a way to improve my language. Haven't been speaking much Cantonese since i got here. Dah la my Cantonese sucks and i speak like ang moh. Now standard drop. Jeffrey, Hendrie and Eric sure will tease at me when i come home.
"yat lou cho yeh, yat lou dai hei".
*Has always been a habit since young. That's how i score straight A's for SPM & PMR.*
posted by 'sepet' penguin at 04:46
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